Green Envy

There is some serious lawn envy going on around my neighborhood. 

Well, to be fair, the only envious people are the ones who are paying the mortgage at my house. So… that narrows it down a smidge.

Here’s the reason why:

Lawn on the left: My lawn.

Lawn on the right: NOT my lawn.

Every day I have to wipe drool from the kitchen window because of the longing glances I give the lucsious green fertile and oh-so-welcoming-I-want-to-roll-around-in-it lawn next door.

Apparently, up here in the North, you have to first rid the lawn of nasty weeds (and I’m hoping I can do that with sarcastic comments & maybe a few “yo mamma” insults), aerate your lawn, seed your lawn, fertilize your lawn, cover it with hay, sprinkle fairy dust on it, do a little grass-growing dance while burning sage and chanting positive messages (in tune) to the grass-growing gods.

Oh – and you can only doing this a certain time during the year or else the seeds will burn in little seedling infernoes and even the tears you weep over them won’t help them grow.

I’m not 100% sure when the right time of year is… but I have a feeling it might have something to do with the moon, the tides, the distance of the Earth from the Sun and the outcome of the American Idol finale.  All of this is a tad bit frustrating for me… our front lawn is sooo beautiful – why can’t our back yard be too? Now?! I have no patience for growing grass. None.

I’m tempted to cover the entire lawn with rocks. But… that may make a Slip-n-Slide a little uncomfortable. 


About jensmack

Non-Profit HR Director, Scrapbooker, Reader, TV Lover, and Crafter. Also, Neurotic, Sarcastic, Anxiety-filled Mom of Three.
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2 Responses to Green Envy

  1. Jillian says:

    i dont think taking pictures of it is going to make it grow any greener….just a thought 🙂

  2. Lewis says:

    In the early fall, when your neighbor backs his car out of the driveway with the seed-and-fertilizer-buying look on his face, follow him and buy what he buys. Then come home and do what he does with the same tools he uses. Simple… =)

    If you’re gonna take pictures of his yard, do it when he’s out there working. It’s called lawn replication surveillance.

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