I had a really wonderful Thanksgiving holiday weekend. It was so, so good to spend the time with my family and just “hang out.” There were no big plans – no agendas – just our family spending time together. Perfect.
After Thanksgiving dinner, my Mom decided to talk about how she is revising her Will. Actually, dinner wasn’t even over yet – I think some of us were still finishing up – we hadn’t even had dessert! She begins by saying that her and my Dad have been talking and want to make some adjustments to their Wills. Then she says that she wants all of us to know her “wishes” for after she’s gone.
I’m thinking, “Oh goodness… why do we have to talk about this now?” I think I had Mackie sitting on my lap and I was kind of hiding my face behind her. Mom continues by saying that she doesn’t think my Dad will get remarried… blah, blah… and that she doesn’t want a viewing; she wants to be creamated. (ugh)
I’m getting queasy at these thoughts and sad thinking about how we’re all just talking about this like it’s no big deal. Then my Mom says that she needed to get our “buy in” on what we wanted to do with her ashes. She said that she wants part of them to be with her mother, my grandmother, in New York. She says to dig a little hole at my grandmother’s gravesite and put some of her ashes there. (gulp)
Then she says that she needed us to agree to what was to happen with the rest of her ashes. She wanted us to talk about what we’d and make sure that she was comfortable with the plans. She said that she didn’t mind if we split the ashes so we each had some or if we wanted to keep them all together. She also said that she didn’t have a particular kind of container in mind, but she did have an idea for us… she said, “I was thinking snow globes.”
That’s when I lost it. I already have a loud laugh – but I think that’s the loudest I’ve laughed in a long time. I couldn’t stop laughing. When I did, I told her that she was a sick, sick woman… and it had nothing to do with the meds she was taking. We were all laughing. She said that she’s seen snow globes with personalized photos in them. She demonstrated for us what she thought it would be like, shaking the snow globe and the kids saying, “Good morning Noni – are you there, Noni?!”
She then said that she thought if her ashes were mixed with water they might just turn everything to mud, so maybe a snow globe isn’t the best idea. Thank goodness. The snow globe was definitely a topic of conversation for the rest of the weekend. I told my Mom that I never, ever wanted a snow globe from her. Ever.
We drove to the mall on Saturday. Mom loaded the kids up with clothes – so generous of her. On the way there I made a joke to the kids about Noni and Grandpa being really, really old. That’s when my Mom said, “Hey! Do you see a snowglobe sitting here?”
There’s a little insight into my psyche. The apple does not fall far from this family tree.