Because I need more things to do.

The husband found my yarn and crochet hooks in a box in the basement. He brought them up to me the other day. (shut-up, I am *not* 75 years old) Last night I decided to try them out and see if I could remember how to do it.

Turns out, I couldn’t.

It took me FOREVER to get a simple stitch done. It’s probably been about 5 years since I’ve tried to do that.

The worst part? All the instructions are made for RIGHT-HANDED (freaks) PEOPLE. *This girl* is LEFT-HANDED. Marti got me a book that has a “special section” for lefties. A special ‘section’ – not even a whole book. It’s extremely helpful, don’t get me wrong… but why can’t there be an entire book?

Six years ago, before she gave me the book, Marti herself was trying to teach me how to crochet. Can you say *clusterfuck?* OMG – it was so frustrating and it made me feel so stupid. Turns out it was all backwards for me. Marti is not a leftie like me. (just imagine how perfect she’d be if she was a leftie!)

Anyway… I got a couple of stitches down and decided I wanted to make a blanket for my soon-to-be baby girl. I made this beautiful lavender blanket. It’s about two feet wide by three feet long. Okay, so it’s a blanket for a very small person. Receiving blanket size. I was so proud of myself. So what if it was the most simple stitch ever the entire way through it? So what if it wasn’t perfectly straight? I made it for my little baby girl. That’s what matters.

A few days after she was born, my mother-in-law came to visit. She brought gifts. (of course) And took pictures. (well, duh) She hands me a gift from a friend of hers & gets the camera ready as I open it. (that’s what she does) It’s heavy. I wonder what it could be.

I unwrap it and open the box and guess what? It’s a full-freakin-queen-sized-handmade-shell-stitched-design-crocheted blanket. When I took it out of the box even the blanket knew how good it was… it made a *whoosh* sound as I opened it up. I remember feeling like it was in slow motion – like those videos of hot girls walking down the beach with their hair blowing in the wind – they know how hot they are. That’s exactly how this blanket felt about itself at that moment.

It put my teeny little purple strip of a blanket to shame. I sighed quietly to myself and commented on what a beautiful job her friend did on the blanket.

Last night while I’m trying to get a stitch together, Mack is watching me and asking me if I’ll teach her how to do that… what does *that* do… etc. She goes and gets the little purple blanket that I made her and she wraps it around herself. (well, part of the way… it *is* small, you know) She says that next to her ‘blankie’ (her lovey that she has slept with every night since birth) this blanket is her *favorite.*

So there giant-shell-stitched-crocheted-blanket. So there.

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About jensmack

Non-Profit HR Director, Scrapbooker, Reader, TV Lover, and Crafter. Also, Neurotic, Sarcastic, Anxiety-filled Mom of Three.
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7 Responses to Because I need more things to do.

  1. jen-jen says:

    bwahahahah!! you get ’em tiger!! if it makes you feel any better, I learned to crochet when i was 7, but haven’t done it since. I’m currently obsessed with learning to knit! I want to make everyone socks for Christmas!!

    And I think that’s so sweet of the girl one! You totally need to teach her now. Or at least pay for one of those classes at Michael’s!

  2. Julie says:

    I love your way of putting things! If it makes you feel better, with Matthew I started a granny square blanket. How much simpler can it get? Turns out all my squares had a decidedly amoeba shape and they are now in a publix bag in the depths of my closet.

    I did manage to finish the cross-stitch sampler for Zachary and never really started anythign for Ian.

    Isn’t scrapping enough?

  3. Kimberly Reed says:

    i once knew how to crochet. once…a long long time ago. too bad i’m one of those ‘freak’ righties or you could teach me again. well, actually i’m ambidextrous but favor my right. i do everything with my right but can when i force myself write and do things with my left. oh…i paint left handed. dude. i AM a freak.

    you know, i saw on the news the other day that left handed people are…maybe….possibly….a teeny tiny bit smarter than us righties. turns out you lefties use more of your brain. you lefties can miltitask better than us righties. humpf.

    and yeah…that’s right…take THAT you over-sized too-fancy blanket. mackie likes the one her mommy made!!

  4. scout87 says:

    I love to crochet. And I only know the very basic simple stitch, but it doesn’t stop me. I think there is a lot of beauty in SIMPLICITY! I’ve made many large blankets soley of SIMPLE STITCHES. And they are pretty. And simple. And I love them. So you rock on with your simple stitches. If it got your daughter’s stamp of approval, what more do you need???? =]

  5. Dawn says:

    Good morning hun … I love to crochet too – not sure about left handed tho – what if you look in a mirror (nah… stupid idea LOL)… have a wonderful w/e hun xx

  6. Marti says:

    Awwww…the blankie you made for Mackie is the best because it was made from LOVE. That’s what makes it perfect. xoxo

  7. Lewis Moats says:

    ” When I took it out of the box even the blanket knew how good it was… it made a *whoosh* sound as I opened it up. I remember feeling like it was in slow motion – like those videos of hot girls walking down the beach with their hair blowing in the wind – they know how hot they are. That’s exactly how this blanket felt about itself at that moment.”

    I’ll be damned if that isn’t one of the funniest things I’ve ever read.

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