Some Things.

I went to the hospital today with my sister. The new hospital. Mom had to do all the tests she had previously done at the old hospital all. over. again. This was extremely hard on her.

We also found out that the new doctor had a talk with her this morning and told her the complete diagnosis and prognosis. This was all news to her and she didn’t take it well. (understandably) We hadn’t told her about it before today because we were still waiting for so many test results, we never seemed to get a straight answer (stoopid hospital) and she was so loopy on all the pain meds… she wasn’t quite herself.

The new doctor did give a different prognosis, however… two years instead of just a few months. (she didn’t know about the ‘months’ part – we kept it from her)

Today they did a mammogram and an MRI. Tomorrow morning my Dad and sister are meeting with the doctor at 8:30am. I’m hoping he’ll have the results of all the lab tests & be able to give us a much more clear picture of what’s going on…and also confirm the months vs. years.

It’s amazing though… she’s been at this hospital since Monday and we’re in constant communication with her doctor, the nurses are *amazing* and I truly feel like they want to help her.  A complete 180 from the last place.

Today my Mom was upset and the nurse was holding her hand and comforting her. Holding her hand. None of the other nurses at the other hospital even came close to having that kind of compassion. I couldn’t thank her enough as I left today. I wanted to hug her and kiss her and adopt her. And she’s not the only one. That makes me feel so much better…especially when I’ll be leaving town in a few days.

That being said… today was hard. There are certain things that a child shouldn’t have to see their parent go through…not that I shouldn’t see it, necessarily… more like, she (or anyone) shouldn’t have to go through these things… and I shouldn’t have to see them. Does that make sense?  

It hurts my heart to see her sobbing because she’s in so much pain and can’t stand up enough to get in her bed…knowing that she’s feeling ashamed, hurt, frustrated, robbed of this part of her life… and then hearing her apologizing to everyone for being so upset. 

I’ve offered her body parts to replace some of hers that aren’t well… I’ve told her that I’d give up Christmas (she collapsed on Christmas & has been in the hospital ever since) for the rest of my life if it meant that she could be well… and I mean every word.

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About jensmack

Non-Profit HR Director, Scrapbooker, Reader, TV Lover, and Crafter. Also, Neurotic, Sarcastic, Anxiety-filled Mom of Three.
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2 Responses to Some Things.

  1. Rhonda says:

    I cannot even imagine what you’re going through. You’re allowed to be feeling every single thing you’re feeling. There’s no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ in situations like this. And how comforting that your mom has nurses who have some ‘bed-side manner’. That should give you a little comfort, too. XOXOXO

  2. Milissa says:

    Jenn… you should not feel guilty about feeling the way that you do. It is so hard to see anyone go through pain let alone your Mother. I will pray for you and your mother. I am so glad that she is in a different hospital and that she is receiving the care that should have gotten from the start. It will make your heart less heavy. Also, Gainesville…0oooh closer to Atlanta too.

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