My brain is keeping me awake.
Lately I’ve been getting a lot of sleep. I guess that’s the good thing about being so depressed.
Tonight? Not so much. My mind is racing with questions and options and possibilities and stress…
I got the job offer.
It’s less money than I think it should be.
Friday is my last day at work. If I don’t take the job I can either be unemployed (not an option) or travel for a temporary period of time until I find something else here in town.
Do I move my family to a different state, be farther away from my ailing Mom, and go through all that aggravation for no increase in pay?
Am I being ridiculous? It’s a job, after all. Am I just a greedy bitch?
But – it’s more responsibility – twice as many employees – twice the annual budget… more work.
We all think we’re worth more than we get paid, right? But when are you being true to yourself and when are you just being greedy? When do you suck it up because you can’t be unemployed – you have a family to take care of – and you need a job? Or when do you stand your ground and stick up for what you believe is right?
No… seriously. I’m asking. What should I do? I have no fucking clue. I am no where in the right frame of mind for this.
You know that saying “you’re only given what you can handle” – yeah, I think that’s a crock of shit. Because I swear I’m about to lose my mind. How can I possibly negotiate anything when all I can think about is whether or not my Mom is going to live to see her 57th birthday?
So… it’s 12:37am and I’m online and biting my nails (on my left hand). Sorry Julie. (she realllly hates my nail-biting)
Now it’s 12:41am.
You’ll be pleased to know that I’m up to date on all my celebrity gossip blogs. I even read through about 500 comments on the scrap-gossip blog. I’m pretty much caught up on more than I ever wanted to know about Prima flower contests.
Isn’t that freakin’ fantastic?