No words

I just got back from Atlanta. I should know on Monday about the job. If it works out, I’ll be there in two weeks to start work. Friday is my last day at my hotel here in Orlando… and I’ll have a week off in between.

And my Mom. Things are not good. The doctor is talking about the ‘end’ – and it’s much too soon. Months. Not nearly enough time for me. She’s too young. I’m too young. My kids are too young.

She’s much too good for this.

I don’t know what I’ll do & how I can manage without her. I need her too much.

And I can’t stop crying.

Somehow I have to get up in the morning and go to work. At least for five more days. I still have to be a Mom.. a daughter- a sister… still think about moving away…when I can’t even imagine waking up in the morning and dealing with the pain that I’m feeling right now.

And I don’t know what to say. And no one knows what to say to me. And that’s okay because I know it’s not easy to talk about… and when I do talk about it I just end up crying some more… and puffy eyes are not easy to cover up with make-up.

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About jensmack

Non-Profit HR Director, Scrapbooker, Reader, TV Lover, and Crafter. Also, Neurotic, Sarcastic, Anxiety-filled Mom of Three.
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8 Responses to No words

  1. Kimberly Reed says:

    jen……wish I could make it all better. thinking of you….wish we weren’t all the way across the country from each other!

    please try and get some sleep. any sleep you can get you need.

  2. chriselda says:

    i don’t know what to say either.
    don’t watch Greys
    i’ll say that
    my parents are here
    and if i ever knew they were about NOT to be
    i’d be a wreck
    i’m sorry i have nothing
    but i’m here
    with ears
    if you need to scream

  3. Marti says:

    I’m so sorry, Jen. Know that I’m crying with you – and I’m here for you whatever you need. Your family is in my prayers every single day. Your mom is loved by so many, including me.
    >

  4. Jules says:

    I say we lock the doors tomorrow and not let anyone in!

    I love you, Sweetie. I know you know I’m here for you, but I’ll say it again.

  5. Lori says:

    You and your family are in my heart and prayers Jen.

  6. Dawn says:

    Jen… I am so sorry about your Mum, my heart goes out to you all. Try and be strong… but it’s OK to cry. I’m here if you ever need to chat , thinking of you all and you;re in my prayers xx

  7. Kimberly Reed says:

    checkin on you…….thinkin’ about you….

  8. Rhonda says:

    I’ll keep praying for you and your family.

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