Betty Crocker I am not.

I’m not a cook. I don’t really enjoy it and I don’t do it that often. And I’m okay with that. There are some occasions where I feel like cooking and the holidays seem to be the time.

I decided to make a few things to bring over to my parents’ house for Thanksgiving. I wanted to make Jeanie’s corn casserole, creamed spinach, and chocolate cheesecake pumpkin bars. The latter seemed to be the most complicated  (for me).

For the dessert it said to use your food processor to get the cookie crust to the proper consistency. I don’t have a food processor. I don’t have a need for one – usually. So I thought that I would just use the blender.

Well… there’s a reason the recipe didn’t say, “use a blender” – cookies don’t really break apart very well in a blender. I discovered this after roughly breaking the cookies apart and putting them in the blender. No matter what button I pushed – nothing happened.

I discovered that only the cookies at the bottom were actually getting chopped. I figured I needed to stick an apparatus of some sort in the blender to help things along. I chose a knife.

(stop laughing and gasping at my nonsense – I told you already that I don’t cook much – how was I to know what would happen next?)

I’m sticking the knife in the blender trying to move cookie crumbs around & getting a bit frustrated. The husband comes by and is wondering what’s going on. He and I both have our faces in the blender when all of a sudden there’s a loud..


Cookie crumbs fly out all over… me, the husband and the kitchen.

Chocolate cookie crumbs.

I look at him covered in cookie crumbs. I look down at me covered in cookie crumbs… and I look at the kitchen counter, floor, toaster, sink… all covered in cookie crumbs.

And then I start laughing. A lot.

I don’t think he thought it was as funny… at first, but then he came around. I mean, why get mad? We knew that something had to happen while I was in the kitchen. The place wasn’t on fire yet, so it was a safe bet that there’d be some sort of a mess.

We cleaned up the crumbs and I started over… a little bit more carefully… this time I didn’t stick any sort of utensil in the blender.

I made the chocolate cheesecake pumpkin bars and they were DELICIOUS! The corn casserole was a huge hit – in fact, I need to email the recipe to my cousins… and my Mom gave me the biggest compliment on my creamed spinach… she said it tasted the most like my grandmother’s creamed spinach. That’s a huge compliment… especially considering my grandmother was one of those cooks that didn’t use recipes and now that she’s gone, none of us know how to cook anything she used to make!

So – I may not be Betty Crocker, but that’s okay. I’d rather spend time with my family than time in the kitchen.

And if you do happen to be over while I am in the kitchen… don’t forget to wear your protective gear.


About jensmack

Non-Profit HR Director, Scrapbooker, Reader, TV Lover, and Crafter. Also, Neurotic, Sarcastic, Anxiety-filled Mom of Three.
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7 Responses to Betty Crocker I am not.

  1. Kimberly Reed says:

    Please tell me there are pics. lol…. I am no Betty Crocker either. In fact I only cook ‘special’ meals and pies and stuff during the holidays. Your corn casserole sounds yummy. And so do the pumpkin bars.

    Here’s a tip for you in case you decide to go all Betty Crocker again (you know…Christmas is right around the corner). To get smashed up cookies (for a pie crust or base for something else)…put the cookies in a ziplock (um…no. Put them in TWO ziplocks). Seal both bags. Then smash the hell out of them with a rolling pin. What. No rolling pin? No prob. Use a bottle of wine. You MUST have a bottle of wine…right? There. You now know the extent of my cooking prowess. And now I’m very hungry for something sweet.

    Glad you had good food and a good Thanksgiving.

  2. jules says:

    just trying to catch my breath here. lol!

    yes, you can pulverize cookies in a blender. You just need to do small batches and small bursts.

    you can also BUY chocolate cookie crumbs ala oreo.

    That’s easiest for me.

    So…since I KNOW you are a good sb’er…WHERE ARE THE PICTURES?

  3. mIcHeLlE-o says:

    That food sounds yummy! Still LMAO at you with cookies everywhere. I’m sure you’ll probably find crumbs somewhere in the next couple of days and laugh again.

  4. Kim says:

    That soooo sounds like something I would do!!! You should of taken pics!!!

  5. Tawnya says:

    you are a hoot! great story! scrap it for sure! 🙂 even if there are no pics to go with the memory, it is worth having in a book 🙂

  6. islandjen says:

    Note to self: Don’t hang out with Jenn when she decides she wants to be Betty Crocker for the day!

    You are too funny! Although I am relieved that the knife to go flying and end up stabbing someone…err…thing!

  7. Marti says:

    Copy me on that email to your cousins! And come on – we know how to make the basics. Meatballs. What else do we need to bring to any party?

    And you make a damn good birthday cake! Even if the fire engine is um…pink.

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