Stupid Darwin.

If I ignore the pain… it will go away. Right?

My bottom-right wisdom tooth has been throbbing for about four days now. I really don’t want to have to go to the dentist ($cha-ching$), have all kinds of apparatus in my mouth (small palette, remember?), have shots and stitches because of these four teeth that us humans don’t need anymore because we’ve outgrown the need to chew tough meat through some sort of Darwin-evolutionary-process…

Stoopid Darwin is gonna make me go to the dentist.

Why can’t I just keep them in there? Whose to say I might not need those wisdom teeth one day while chewing on a tough piece of unwashed spinach or something?

They might come in handy if I were ever to be on a deserted island and would have to start hunting for food… fending for myself a la Tom Hanks and Wilson in that movie… you know… the one where all of a sudden he’s eating raw fish. I bet he had his wisdom teeth…and used them! There isn’t any meat tenderizer on deserted islands, you know! And those wisdom teeth ain’t gonna grow back once they’re out.

I like to keep what’s mine.

Besides, the Tooth Fairy isn’t going to put any scrapbook supplies or Macy’s Gift Certificates under my pillow if they come out. If that were the case, I might reconsider.

Just imagine what I could do with a tail… when did we decide we didn’t need those?

In the meantime, please pass the Advil.

(P.S. – I’m tired, cranky, and all around in a pissy mood today. The throbbing pain isn’t helping.)

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About jensmack

Non-Profit HR Director, Scrapbooker, Reader, TV Lover, and Crafter. Also, Neurotic, Sarcastic, Anxiety-filled Mom of Three.
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5 Responses to Stupid Darwin.

  1. medreamcatcher says:

    Well young’un, you ain’t seen nothing yet. Wait until your dentist mentions the word periodontist, which means arcane practice of slice, scrape and stitch.

    Try this painkiller blend, recommended by my periodontist, after application of the 3 S’s. Three motrin, plus two tylenol, rinsed down with Vitamin T. Okay, I’m kidding about the T. But the T will serve as another shot of courage necessary for doing what needs to be done.

  2. InsaneInTheMembrane says:

    I hope a good night’s rest does the trick for you… I really do. I had mine out. It wasn’t fun and I don’t recommend it…I’m *not* a dentist… But, let’s just hope for the best. And, if you do have to get them out…I’ll make sure something gets slipped under your pillow!

  3. island jen says:

    aww..sweetie! hate to hear that you are hurting b/c mankind as a race has evolved!! hehehe!!

    try some motrin and lots of chocolate ice cream…and all the pain will go away!

  4. Marti says:

    Y-A-W-N

    Did you know that it is OCTOBER?

    tap…tap…tap…

  5. ztiuzti says:

    hfgzi,f u6iu dtuztu

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