If I ignore the pain… it will go away. Right?
My bottom-right wisdom tooth has been throbbing for about four days now. I really don’t want to have to go to the dentist ($cha-ching$), have all kinds of apparatus in my mouth (small palette, remember?), have shots and stitches because of these four teeth that us humans don’t need anymore because we’ve outgrown the need to chew tough meat through some sort of Darwin-evolutionary-process…
Stoopid Darwin is gonna make me go to the dentist.
Why can’t I just keep them in there? Whose to say I might not need those wisdom teeth one day while chewing on a tough piece of unwashed spinach or something?
They might come in handy if I were ever to be on a deserted island and would have to start hunting for food… fending for myself a la Tom Hanks and Wilson in that movie… you know… the one where all of a sudden he’s eating raw fish. I bet he had his wisdom teeth…and used them! There isn’t any meat tenderizer on deserted islands, you know! And those wisdom teeth ain’t gonna grow back once they’re out.
I like to keep what’s mine.
Besides, the Tooth Fairy isn’t going to put any scrapbook supplies or Macy’s Gift Certificates under my pillow if they come out. If that were the case, I might reconsider.
Just imagine what I could do with a tail… when did we decide we didn’t need those?
In the meantime, please pass the Advil.
(P.S. – I’m tired, cranky, and all around in a pissy mood today. The throbbing pain isn’t helping.)