Masochist, Dentist.. whatevah.

I called to make dentist appointments for me and the two kidlets. I tell the appointment-maker-woman that I have a ‘problem’ with the x-rays.  Then I start rambling on about my small pallette and how I have a very quick gag reflex and I cry and cough and gag and maybe she could give me some valium or some other sort of medication that would relax those gag reflexes long enough to get the x-rays done. 

She says, “What about the x-rays scares you?” Scared??  I’m not SCARED!  Didn’t she just hear me explain my quick gag reflex and small pallette??  How dare she think that I’m scared!  I tell her that I can’t do those bite-wing things… and doesn’t she have something she can do for me??

She says “Oh – the bite wings, crazy lady!”  (I added the crazy lady part – she didn’t say that out loud… although, I swear I could hear her finger doing the international sign for crazy next to her head…) Anyway…she says that they can do the panoramic x-ray if I can’t do the bite wings.  Okay.

Scared.  Hmmpf.

Today at the dentist, the dental assistant starts doing something with some sort of apparatus… I’m explaining to her how my last dentist yelled at me because she couldn’t get the x-rays done because I couldn’t do the bite win…

I didn’t even get the last word out of my mouth when she inserts the bite wing and tells me to bite down. So I did.  And I gagged and started tearing up.  She tells me that she’s got a solution.  “Breathe through your nose,” she says.  Wow. Thanks.  


I breathe through my nose while she RUNS out of the way so she can get a picture.  I start gagging and coughing and gagging some more and tears are running down my face… she’s yelling, “It’ll be quick!  Just hold it!  Just hold it!”  I take the %$#&*!! bite-wing OUT of my mouth.

Defeated, she begrudgingly brings me over to the panoramic machine.  I have to bite down with my two front teeth and this was ALMOST too much for me after the whole bite-wing incident of a few minutes earlier. 

The dentist says I need to get my bottom wisdom teeth removed.  I told him that I’ll take ten shots of novacaine in my mouth instead of doing any more bite-wing x-rays.  He’s talking about prescribing me some medicine if I have to get anything else done…

I’m all about that.  Sign me up for medication.


About jensmack

Non-Profit HR Director, Scrapbooker, Reader, TV Lover, and Crafter. Also, Neurotic, Sarcastic, Anxiety-filled Mom of Three.
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5 Responses to Masochist, Dentist.. whatevah.

  1. Chiara says:

    OMGOSh I so hate when people don’t listen to what I am saying. Just to make their lives easier.

  2. Marti says:

    Jen and the bite wings…did she not see that you have the palate of a six year old?

    I’m sorry. More medication, please.

  3. mIcHeLlE-o says:

    I hate mean people that don’t listen. You showed them what you meant though. Sorry to hear you had a frustrating time. When do you get the good stuff, meds????

  4. Julie Martinez says:

    Someone else who hates the dentist…who knew? lol! WHen I was 8 or so I had to have 6 baby teeth removed AT THE SAME VISIT!!!! I’ve been terrified ever since. Thank God for sedation dentistry. I will definately try that somrtime…soon…really!

  5. islandjen says:

    see how i was going to make a dentist appointment for sometime next month, and now….not so much!!

    gawd you crack me up!!

    i’m up for a jens date night…..lets come up with a place and time!!

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