Dear Mom

Today we drove about 20 minutes north to a place where you can see the Blue Ridge Mountains and a lovely river. The sun was shining (finally) and the sky was blue. I don’t remember seeing any clouds.  It was an amazingly beautiful day – so completely opposite of the past few days.

I drove with Dad in the front seat and Jamie and Jillian in back. Dad was pointing his directions to me (even though I live here and he doesn’t – don’t worry, I didn’t argue with him, I took lots of deep breaths).

We found ourselves on a very winding road that went over the river and gave us lovely views. We drove until we saw our last name on a sign that told us we needed to be in  Lane Number Two. As we waited for someone to take us to the assigned place, the cars in Lane Number One kept adding up.

Our lane was empty except for us – but that’s okay, its how we wanted it.  Our host’s name was Caroline and she was very sweet. She drives a long way each day to get to work, but says that she loves her job.

When we got to the pavilion there were flowers everywhere… but they were there by mistake. We waited while some other guy picked them up (clumsily) and brought them to his van. He had to make a few trips.

Dad laid everything out on a stand (covered with indoor/outdoor carpet) which was standing underneath the seals of each of the armed forces. He put your urn on top of the latest issue of People magazine, just like he did a year ago. We put pictures around you – of all of us together – all the kids, a small Statue of Liberty (we both love the same statue, you know), a copy of the poem that was read at your memorial, trinkets you had with you at the hospital, and pennies that Dad has collected for a year – each one a sign from you to him.  It was a lot of stuff! It reminded me of Dad’s computer desk… lots of trinkets and things around, but I guess you’re used to that.

Dad had me take pictures of this little set-up. I wouldn’t have done it if he didn’t ask me to. I felt a little strange, but I guess that’s okay. Jamie took some close-up shots. She started crying and Caroline asked her if she was the middle child. How did she know?

Jillian kept it cool – like she always does – and I stayed pretty detached, more concerned with how Jamie and Jillian were doing. Dad said a few words – which made us feel awkward – okay, it made me feel awkward for sure, I don’t know about them… but, you know how he is.

It was cold in the shade and Jamie was shivering. (she didn’t bring a sweater) We sat for a few minutes and then Caroline came back. She explained what was going to happen next.

We picked up your urn, the pictures, and all the other little things and walked over to the cambriolas (I think that’s what they’re called). We found your spot (on the top) and put the stuff and you in there. I’m not sure there’s going to be enough room for Dad, but we’ll figure that out later.

Dad told me to take another picture – so I did… then two guys put the temporary marble covering over your place. There’s a plastic tag there now with your name on it, but soon it will be engraved.  Caroline said it would take six weeks.

We said good-bye to you again and that sucked. We read a lot of the other peoples’ cambriola plackards – some were very creative – and we decided what yours was going to say. I think you’d be happy with it.

We drove back into town and went to lunch at Moe’s. Jamie, Jillian and I went to Moe’s on the anniversary of the day you died. Weird tradition, huh? Death and burritos. (but we like the burritos & the green chili salsa)

Being together is good, but sad. There’s a huge piece missing each time - more noticeable when Dad is around.

We miss you. 

I miss you.

I’m sorry there weren’t any flowers for you. We didn’t know what to expect. I will bring some daisies for you next time, I promise.

Love,

jen

Oh crap, I missed Earth Hour.

I completely  forgot that we were supposed to be all “green” and everything tonight by turning off the electricity at 8:30 for one whole hour. Maybe it’s because I was not sure how I would spend that hour. No TV? No internet? No lights? How could I possibly make it through sixty minutes without the internet?

It wasn’t only me that forgot… I’m pretty sure all my neighbors forgot too. Although I’m not sure, I couldn’t see them over the glare of all my indoor lights being used.

Instead of conserving energy today - I made some cards from the awesome kit at Serendipity Kits:

I also did some scrap pages – and goodness, it’s been a while!

Here’s my daughter and niece. They’re just too cute.

And here’s The Fly Whisperer. This girl can catch flies in her fingers. It’s amusing, yet creepy…

Well, there you have it… I didn’t conserve much energy, but I have some pretty stuff to show for it.

Here and There

It’s been pretty eventful around here lately…

We had some of this:

… which was awesome, by the way. From what I hear from those people who live above the Mason Dixon, snow that lasts longer than a day can be sorta bad and quite uncomfortable. Our snow was melted (mostly) before we went to bed that night.

I went here:

And discovered my new favorite building (The Library of Congress):

I never knew how incomplete my life was without having a favorite building… but, now I feel much better knowing that it’s there. Man, it’s beautiful.

I also did some scrappy stuff:

These are for the kids to journal in when we go to NY in a few weeks. Or ignore them and toss them under the seats in the car. Whatever.

I know, crappy photo… I’ve been having this problem lately. This was for a J(3) challenge… I did one, Jen did one, and Julie did 753. Guess who won?

Between those things I’ve been reading a lot of books (yeah, still vampires) or networking and reconnecting (taking care of my virtual pet) on Facebook.

Exciting, I know.

The free book light rocks!

I don’t know why anyone *cough* would make fun of this product… it’s so cute & stylish! And the book light is beyond compare!

A big thanks to my sister & family for this most awesome of birthday presents. (and remind me not to make fun of anymore “as seen on TV” items, okay?)

And really… does anyone else look this good in blue felt?

I think not.

One year ago.

We miss you, Mom.

I had her when I was, um, 20. Cough.

This girl turned 8 a couple of weeks ago. Eight.

I’m having a hard time believing that my baby is eight. And I guess I should admit that she’s not a baby anymore.

Wasn’t she just a toddler yesterday watching Playhouse Disney and Blues Clues?

She’s, like, a girl. A person.

She’s got her own ideas, opinions, and fashion sense. 

I’m just not sure where she gets her independent spirit, her craziness… her character.

But if I find out, I’ll let you know.