Haikus for a Snack

Oh Wasabi Peas

My mouth burns and my eyes cry

How I love you so

*****

My new favorite snack

The crunch so satisfying

The heat so intense

*****

Crunchy and salty

You know how to pack a punch

Wasabi peas love

*****

Ziploc peas at work

The baggie is now empty

My tummy’s queasy

This is why I feel like a grown-up.

And it’s not just because I have these kids:

This photo was taken last Saturday on that one Spring day we had. Today its 44 but it “feels like” 38. WTF? Its almost April, right? When did I move to Siberia?

Anyway…

Or because I have a <gulp> mortgage:

Because kids & debt certainly go hand-in-hand to grown-up-ville.

It is, however, because I have an actual dining room that includes this awesome (antique store find) dining room table:

(those chairs make me swoon)

As if that’s not grown-up enough, I just purchased my first American Crafts D-ring scrapbook binder! I will never go back to post-bound again. Ever.

Now that’s grown-up. 

I just need to start filling it with actual layouts and stuff that I make.

Crap. I hadn’t thought of that…

When did I start speaking Natalie?

All of a sudden on last night’s Big Brother, Natalie started making sense to me.

This worries me as she’s not considered the most, um, bright person in the house. Am I losing my mind? Or did Matty hand her back her brain when he walked out of the house?

She’s also wearing less make-up now that Matt is gone. Anyone else notice that? Or do all of you actually have a life outside of reality TV?

And speaking of Reality TV – American Idol was GOOD last night! Well – a few of them were. I loved David Cook, Michael the Australian guy, and Brooke. David was awesome.

Damn. I need more hobbies.

Does it count that I was working on a Sudoku  puzzle while Idol was on?

Changing the Subject.

I made these yesterday – you know, with all the extra time I have on my hands. (which means I basically ignored all the other things that should’ve gotten done)

I found that cute house stamp in Marietta Square on Saturday. Actually, Mackie found it. I was trying to decide between two others & she found this one. Then we had to vote on which we liked best. It was unanimous.

I used some of the paper that Jules sent me (she sent me a TON of paper) along with the super-fantastic present. The colors in the paper worked perfectly.

I don’t know why, but I felt a strong urge to make these. I have no idea who I’m going to send them to (most everyone has gotten our new address via email) but I needed to make them. Or maybe I just needed the time to myself working on something. Either way, here they are.

I even stamped our name and address on cardstock and stuck it on the inside. Super simple, yet they effectively took my mind off things for a bit.

Even Sprint doesn’t work in Heaven.

The other day on the drive home, I was thinking about my Mom & wanted to give her a call. That’s what I would’ve done any other time. A quick chat, a check-in, a “how and where are you” kind of call. And then I remembered that I couldn’t call her. My next thought was, “Maybe I could send her a text message?”

Then I realized I couldn’t do that either.

It was weird how my mind knew that I couldn’t call her – obviously – but a text message seemed perfectly reasonable. You can see that there are some synapses with extra time on their hands. Or maybe my brain was giving me a break from the constant heartache and made me forget, just for a moment, that I’ll never be able to talk to her again.

Either way, it makes me so sad.

My Cup Runneth Over With Love

It’s really amazing to me to be experiencing such kindness & thoughtfulness from so many people during such a sad time. I’ve been getting phone calls, emails, cards, and comments here on ths blog. I’m overwhelmed.

Even when my blog is read but there is no comment - knowing that maybe someone read a post about my Mom and thought about her for even a small moment is a comfort to me.

Another thing that Judson Laipply said last week was that everyone needed to take the time to tell someone that you are so glad they are in your life.

So, thank you. Thank you for being a part of my life. Thank you for your kindness. Thank you for being there.

Speaking of thanks… I received some mail love yesterday & Oh. My. Goodness. I have such talented friends. Julie made this for me & I’m still marveling at it’s loveliness.

Jules asked me to let her know where I put it in our house. Well, it started here in the dining room:

I did take a close-up shot of some of it:

Look at all that detail! That’s LOVE people! WOWZA.

I decided that it needed a different place to hang… and I think I found that perfect place:

The fireplace. Perfect. (my mantle is still a work in progress – we’re still unpacking, you know)

Dad left this morning and I’m sad. It’s never easy having guests in your house (coughcoastercough) but I felt like my Mom was with him while he was here. Now I’m missing her more too.

Oh – Happy Easter!

By the way… the title of my post came from a song I heard on the Broadway Channel on Sirius. (stop rolling your eyes at me)

House Guest

My Dad drove up a couple of days ago & is spending some time with us. I am so happy about that. I am very lucky to have the extra space in our lovely new house so that he can have his own bedroom and bathroom. His visit is very bittersweet – it had been planned for a while now… he & my Mom would come up to see the new house.

Dad is camped out in the guest room, which is also my scrap room. He brought down a bed – it was purchased when my Mom couldn’t make it up the stairs at their house. He brought it to us so that we have an extra place for people to sleep. Sleep in it? I’m sure that it will be covered in letter stickers and patterned paper very soon.

He brought his laptop too, of course. He doesn’t go anywhere without that. Anywhere. One of the first things he asked about when he arrived was how to connect to our internet wirelessly. Um, we’re not that sophisticated. We use the old-fashioned DSL line to our non-laptop home computer.

He had to run the phone line (which is soooo 2006) from our computer to his computer – or something like that. All I know is that he’s able to access the internet and we’re all very happy about it. Thank goodness that’s fixed, for now. He’s still determined to get us wireless; apparently we need a new modem or something.

Yesterday he went out and bought sheets for our new bed & I went into my scraproom  the guest room to see them. I notice that he put his laptop on my scrapdesk… okay, that’s fine, I guess. That must mean that he’s enjoying the new comfy birthday present desk chair that Chris and the kids got me. I haven’t even sat in it yet… but, all right, it’s my Dad, and he’s our guest.

I’m sure I’m not the only one who might be a teensy-bit overprotective over her stuff… her scrap stuff. The kids know it. The husband knows it. Dad? Not so much.

So – I notice a glass of ice water on my desk sitting next to his lap top. A drink on my scrap desk?! What? Doesn’t everyone know NOT to put a drink on a scrapdesk? I mean come on people – we’re not barbarians!

And THEN I notice that the “coaster” he’s using for this glass of ice water, which has obviously been there for a while because condensation is all over the outside of the glass… is a STACK OF PATTERNED PAPER I had left on the desk for a little project I’m working on!

ACK!

Obviously, I need to teach my Dad the importance and value of Hamby and KI Color Theory. You’ll all be relieved to know that I was able to rescue the paper before there was too much damage.

That was a close one.

My next project will be making a sign that says, “Attention Guests: Please do not place drinks on the scrap desk.”

Choices and Changes

I was lucky enough to hear this person speak today:

Judson Laipply – Evolution of Dance

Maybe you’ve seen him on You Tube before? I had & was thrilled to find out that he would be the guest speaker this morning at the meeting I attended.

He talked about choices – how we all choose to live the way we want to. Yes, there are some things we have no control over, but MOST things we do. He said that we need to take responsibility for where we are because we made the choices which got us there.

He’s right.

He asked us if we knew people who blamed everything else around them instead of looking at themselves. He said that these people will never be able to move on from their current situations until they make the choice to change it. They blame others all the time. I was thinking – OMG – I definitely knew someone like that.

He also said that we have to let go of the things we have no control over. Why get so angry over things that we can’t control? It’s not always easy & he acknowledged that too… but we cannot waste time worrying about those things. There are way more important things to worry about – like our friends and loved ones.

He used an example of someone getting so angry over a flight being delayed that he yelled and yelled at the ticket attendant and then fell to the ground suffering a heart attack. Why get so worked up over that? There are things we cannot control. There’s no use wasting energy on such nonsense. It’s okay to be mad – but it’s not okay to throw a fit over something so silly.

The person I knew – she would never look at herself, but was plenty ready to judge & blame others. It was her parents, her job, her family, etc. etc. She never looked at herself. She wasted (and probably still does) a lot of time and energy on things that weren’t important. She was (is) miserable. She constantly talked about what everyone else had or didn’t have as compared to her. She judged her friends and her family. It was exhausting being around her. She didn’t treat people well & would get upset over every. little. thing. Going to a restaurant with her was a nightmare.

I made the choice not to be around her anymore. There was no time in my life for that kind of person at that time. And there’s still not. 

After he spoke – he did the dance. It was brilliant.

Definitely something to think about each day… what are our choices?

You can’t go wrong…

when this is on TV:

See, this is what happens when you can’t sleep the night before a memorial service… so you end up falling asleep mid-afternoon while there are still people over at the house. Now you’re wide awake watching Ice Castles and surfing the ‘net.

Robbie Benson had a lot of hair.

Ut-oh, here come the roses…

Saying good-bye again.

 

My sisters and I holding onto my Mom – 3/7/08

I’m back in Wildwood. This time I didn’t come down by myself. Mom’s funeral is tomorrow. Right now she’s resting in an urn on the dining room table. On top of a People magazine. Dad says she’s reading.

I’ve been trying to dodge questions about creamation from the kids and hold it together all at the same time. I also edited my Dad’s eulogy and went through boxes of photos.

My Dad has everything together for the funeral… but, he’s using her full name of “Kathleen” for everything. The prayer cards. The eulogy. The memory book. The graphic stickers for everyone’s car. (don’t get me started on those) The plaque he’s having engraved for the urn. Kathleen.

She HATED the name Kathleen. I’m not telling him.

I went through photo CDs tonight to put on a disk that is going to be shown at the service tomorrow. I hadn’t realized – until I found photos from the past few years – just how much my Mom had changed. You can see the progression of the illness and how her appearance changed so drastically.

Maybe if I stay up late enough I can sleep through it? Have I mentioned how much I am NOT looking forward to tomorrow?